Margeret Mallory was a fine mortal and lover to us all. Scandalous perhaps, but if you knew something of the woman, her love for life, her joy, her generous spirit, her voracious appetite for all things new, then maybe you’d understand why she was so alluring. She was like a flame to us dowdy moths, utterly irresistible. Now she is gone, and in our lives a void remains. But she would not have us mourn, so true to form Margeret has willed that we blow her entire estate (granted only £112.05) on an almighty send off. Good-bye Margeret, you will be missed, and mine’s a Guinness!
Have you ever wondered why its dark at night? Some say it is because the earth is round and spins so that sometimes the sun is on the other side. Rubbish, I tell you. If you look carefully as the sun sets you’ll see God reach out and grab the sun just before it falls and pop it in his pocket. Scientists scoff at this notion, saying that it is silly, primitive thinking, and simply impossible since we all know God does not exist, and even if he or she did, they would not have a pocket. To them I put this thought: if God does not have a pocket then where would he put the sun at night?
Reports have been coming in from all over the world about sudden, mass disappearances of individuals. Mrs Agatha Krone from Eadlepug, Tennessee, said she was in the middle of a conversation with her neighbour, Tabatha Widget and her daughter Frieda, when “they just plain vanished.” Early analysis from the Global Statistics Bureau of the missing people has revealed a very strong correlation with belief in the Judeo-Christian God. Professor Richard Dawkins author of the best-selling “The God Delusion” has been quoted as saying “Good riddance. Now we can stop debating the non-existence of God and get on with our lives.” Representatives from other faith groups have declined to comment.