Mulled Vine

I don’t often read Revelation because frankly its a bit weird and incomprehensible.

“Then I saw a Lamb, looking as if it had been slain, standing in the center of the throne, encircled by the four living creatures and the elders. He had seven horns and seven eyes…”

But its also full of superb majestic bits too.

“Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, singing: “To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever!” The four living creatures said, “Amen,” and the elders fell down and worshiped.”

and

“Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.”

I always imagine God with a really deep booming voice when He says the last bit and it sends shivers down my spine.

Ok, so what of this?

Well, I wonder what heaven will be like. It troubles me that I won’t be married to my wife in heaven, and as for 24×7 worship… I mean, I love God and music, but 24×7?? And what about free will? Will we be capable of sinning, and if not, why not?

For us moderns, the concepts of Kings and Lordship are quite foreign so we struggle with the idea of worship. Who does He think He is to want to be worshipped all the time? Talk about self centred. Tsk.

But if we try to imagine ourselves when Kings were all the rage and words like “fealty” graced our lips more naturally, then the idea of a supreme Sovereign to whom we owed our allegicance and devotion and even worship by right would be not so foreign.

Sorry, this is turning into an almighty mull (no pun intended).

Where I’m headed is this: We are 3 dimensional beings (forward/backward, left/right, up/down), four if you count time. God however is not. The Bible hints at this when it says that “With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day”.

I first encountered dimensions in physics at school. A one-dimensional creature only knows about forwards and backwards. So if you introduced a two dimensional creature into his world, capable of going left and right as well, then the one dimensional creature would observe that the other fellow now and then disappears suddenly only to reappear at a later point.

So if heaven (at last the point!) involves more dimensions than we are used to, then any description of it by someone from our world is going to seem a little weird. Some bits we’ll recognise, but as for the rest, who knows?

Have you ever wondered what worship in heaven will be like? I do, because down here it’s a bit problematic.

The issue is that in a church of any reasonable size there are different musical preferences. Some like the old hymns and a more structured approach, whilst others like it free, contemporary and “Spirit-led”. Then you have the young people who just like it loud!

At our place we tried a 3 meeting approach, two in the morning one in the evening: the first service at 9.30 for the more traditionally-minded (and usually older) folk, the second at 11.00 for families, and the third at 6.30 for the contemporary lot.

This is fine for worship styles but the issue we have is firstly that it divides the church into distinct groups that very rarely overlap. The family service also suffers because the kids are usually at Sunday school type activities where many of the parents are also involved, so numbers are very low.

So we’re looking to merge the morning meetings again but what sort of music style do we go for? Trying to please everyone will mean potentially that everyone is unhappy some of the time. And as for hybrid approaches like singing Rock of Ages to drums, well I think that’s dire!

Perhaps in heaven the music will be so perfect that everyone will be happy? I’ll believe it when I see it and there had better be drums and no organ. ;-D

Ok, perhaps dilemma is a bit strong a word in the scheme of things, but nonetheless its something that’s bothering me.

I’m a fairly friendly sort of person (for an introvert) and have no trouble striking up conversations with strangers at work conferences and the like. So I naturally started saying hello to the people who day after day sit in the same train carriage as me on the way to work, and this morning I even chatted the whole journey to very pleasant chap who sits opposite me every day.

Now here’s the thing. Normally both of us read and listen to music instead of chatting, and that’s an important part of staying sane on the longish commute, so what do I do tomorrow? How do I know if he welcomed my chat? Perhaps he prefers to listen to his music (as would I if someone annoying chatted to me all the time)?

Options:

1. Ask to tell me if he would prefer to listen to music? Though I doubt I’d get an honest answer.
2. Chat again, regardless of any potential annoyance I might be causing?
3. Say polite hello and put my music on, thus giving him the opportunity to do the same without embarrasment, but then closing the door on what might be the beginnings of a friendship?
4. Sit somewhere else?
5. Walk to work?

Its not suprising I have very few close friends. :-/

Context:

The Forgiven Debts (Luke 7 41 – 43)

Cast:

Trick shop owner

Props:

Phone
Letter
Phone ring sound clip

Script:

[Open to theme music. Owner reading a letter]

Owner: What am I going to do? Ten thousand pounds!! I don’t have that kind of money! [Looks really worried]

Owner to children: I’m in big trouble. I borrowed lots of money from the bank to start my business and now they want the money back straight away! What am I going to do… Hmmmm… …. I know!… I’ll get everyone who owes me money to pay me back! It won’t be enough to pay back my debt but I don’t see why I should suffer on my own!

[Owner phones customer]

Owner: Hello, this is Mr Snookums from the Trick Shop… I’m fine, thanks…. I’m calling today about your recent purchase of 20 tricks – I believe it was for your daughter’s birthday party… Hmmm… Aha …. Yes …. Well I’m glad they all had a wonderful time and love the tricks… The thing is, your cheque bounced and you still have to pay me for the tricks… Yes, the cheque bounced. I’m sure. Yes, I’m definite…. Look, it’s not a huge amount of money, but are you going to pay me or not? … What do you mean you don’t have the money? … You should have thought of that before you had a big party… How am I supposed to run a business like this??? … I know you love your daughter but business is business … Uhuh… Uhuh……. Yes … I know it can be tough being without a job … Uhuh … Yes the children do suffer too…. You wanted to do something special for your daughter, yes…. Uhuh… Look. I tell you what, you can pay me back when you get a job… I’m sure, yes… No need to thank me. Really…. Good bye.

Owner to children: Well! That was a long call. Someone owed me some money and I was going to be very tough with him and demand that he pay, but in the end I felt sorry for him. Do you think I did the right thing? [Responses]

[Phone rings]

Owner: Hello, Me Snookums here…. Uhuh… Yes, I got your letter asking for the money back. I was going to try to pay you back, but the business has only really just started, and I spent all the money on the shop and cool tricks and … Yes… Yes…. Oh? … Yes…. Really? Oh thank you so much. Yes definitely. By the end of the year my business will be in a much better position to repay you. I’m so grateful. Thank you. Good bye.

Owner to children: You’ll never guess what happened? [Wait for guesses] Oh, you guessed! That was the bank. They have changed their mind about wanting the loan back straight away because I am such a good customer of theirs. Yippeee! Isn’t it brilliant when people are nice to you!

[Close to music]

Context:

The Parable of the Rich Fool (Luke 12:16 – 21)

Cast:

Trick shop owner
Burly assistant
Storm sound clip

Props:

Multiple trick shop facades
Table
Chair
Newspaper

Script:

[Open to theme music. Owner sits on a chair with his feet up on a table reading a newspaper. Puts paper down, leans back in his chair, arms behind his head, looking smug. Gets up, stretches and speaks to the children]

Owner: Oh, hello there. I didn’t see you. I was miles away, day dreaming.

[Leans forward secretively towards children]

Can I let you into a secret? [Response] Can I? [Response] What? [Response]. OK. [Rubs hands]

Its going to be big. Huge in fact. I have made lots of money selling my tricks. So much that I can start expanding my business. Then I can hire other trick shop managers and retire.

[Owner looks around]

Where is my burly assistant?

[Burly assistant arrives]

Owner: I want you to build me some more trick shops.
Assistant: Wha?
Owner: More trick shops, like this one. [Points to trick shop façade]
Assistant: Ah! [and runs off to get another trick shop façade]
Owner: Excellent. Put it there … uhm … no there … there!

[Repeat with all available facades until a number of trick shops are standing. Ensure children are a short distance away.]

[Burly assistant leaves]

Owner: Perfect. I will be famous. Biggest trick shop business in the world. I will be GREAT!!! I’ll even have a picture in The Courier!

[Suddenly storm arrives to sound of storm clip]

Owner: What’s going on? Oh no, a storm. My lovely new shops! They will all be blown down!!

[Owner holds on to each façade, trying to hold them up but eventually fails and they fall over (he knocks them over).]

Owner: NOOOOOOooooooo…… All gone. Even my first trick shop. All my big plans blown away! In an instant! Boohoooo!!!

[Closes to theme music]

It strikes me as very interesting that many of us Christians find no contradiction in following this commandment and making illegal copies of software, DVDs and music.

There seems to be an unwritten rule that because it involves stealing from big, “corrupt” corporations who have too much money anyway that its somehow ok.

Yet my voiced worries about this echo alone in the wilderness within the circles I move.

Is this an area where we Christians have conformed to the pattern of this world?

Context:

The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector (Luke 18:9 – 14)

Cast:

Trick shop owner
Arrogant Customer
Humble Customer

Props:

Last Fire Sword trick in the shop

Script:

[Owner potters around the shop]

Owner to children: Phew! What a day its been! I don’t think its ever been so busy in here. Most of my best tricks are gone – just a few left over.

[Humble Customer comes in and looks around. Spots last trick and picks it up and looks at it with awe]

HC: Is this the Fire Sword trick?
Owner: Sure is. Its good isn’t it?
HC: Oh yes, I’ve been saving for ages, and was worried there wouldn’t be any left because I was so late.
Owner: Did you want to buy it then?
HC: Oh yes! I’m trying to learn how to do tricks and wanted this….

[Suddenly Arrogant Customer strides in talking very loudly]
AC: Good afternoon! I hear you do magic here?
Owner: Er… no, this is a [with children] TRICK SHOP.
AC: Whatever. Do you have the Fire Sword trick?
Owner: Yes, I was just going to sell my last one to this gentleman over here.

[AC looks at HC and grabs the trick]
AC: Thanks, I’ll take that.
HC: But…
Owner: Excuse me, but he was first.
AC: Do you know who I am?
Owner: No
AC: NO???
Owner: No
AC: I am Counselor Reginald Ulysses Nuts.
Owner: Reginald … Ulysses … Nuts… R. U. Nuts?
AC: Are you trying to be funny?
Owner: Sorry, it just that your intitials…
AC: Never mind about my initials! How much is the trick?
Owner: I can’t sell it to you – this gentleman was first
AC: What??? WHAT????
HC: Look, its ok, Mr Nuts obviously wants it very badly.
AC: Darn Tootin’ I do! Its for my collection!
Owner: Collection?
AC: Yes, collection! Are you deaf??
Owner: No, just wondering.
AC: Wondering what?
Owner: Whether you do tricks yourself?
AC: No, no, I have a man to do that. I can’t be bothering with such menial things myself! I’m too busy and important for that.
Owner: I see. Well I can’t sell you the trick.
AC: What??? WHAT????
HC: I really don’t mind…
Owner: No, my mind is made up. This is a trick shop for people who love tricks. I won’t sell you this trick.
AC: YOU WON’T SELL ME THIS TRICK?
Owner: No.
AC: Do you know who I am?
Owner: R. U. Nuts
AC: That’s not funny. I am a very important man and so deserve to have this trick.
Owner: No, I’m giving it to this gentleman over here. He was first and he is a trick lover.
AC: I love tricks!
Owner: No you don’t
AC: I do. I get my man to dust the boxes everyday!!
Owner: My mind is made up. Goodbye!
AC: [Leaving] You will regret this!! I have connections! I am SOMEBODY. This fellow here is a worthless nobody.
Owner: Goodbye!
[AC leaves]
HC: Are you sure you want to sell this to me. He looks awfully important and I’m just me.
Owner: In my shop anyone who loves my tricks is important to me!
HC: Oh, thank you so much. I’ve been waiting so long for this trick.
Owner: My pleasure!

[They shake hands. Close to theme music]

Last year I played in an amateur cover band. We recorded some of our efforts here (its the Live Band Recordings list.)

I welcome (but do not expect) any offers of music contracts!

Context:
Parable of the Wedding Feast (Luke 14:7–11).

Cast:
Trick shop owner
Random people on the street

Props:
Trick shop

Script:

[Opening to theme music. The shop owner is pottering around getting things ready for the big day]

Owner [dusting hands]: There, that should do it. Everything is ready. [Owner suddenly notices the children] Oh, hello!

Owner to children: Today is a very special day. Do you want to know why? [yes] What? [YEEESSS!!!!] Ok, I’ll tell you. Its my birthday! My shop is 1 year old! I’m so excited!

[Chosen leader starts to sing Happy Birthday]

Owner: Oh, thank you so much! Anyway, because its my birthday I’m going to have a VIP Sale at the Trick Shop…. Do you know what that means? [Responses from children] Well, I’ve bought loads of great new tricks and invited all my most valued customers to the shop today to have a look at them and buy them for half-price if they like. Its a sale for all my Very Important People. I’ve even closed the shop to normal customers because of this special occasion. Isn’t that exciting? [some response] It IS!!! Anyway, its time to start. I bet they’re queuing outside my door!

[Owner goes to the door and looks out but sees no one]

Owner: That’s strange. [Looks at his watch] It is time to start but there’s no one waiting to come in. [Listens to his watch] My watch is working I think. [Runs to lots of children] Do you have the time? [Runs to lots of leaders] Do you have the time? [Returns to the front] See, it is the right time. They should be here already.

[Owner starts to look very miserable]

Owner to children: It was supposed to be such a special day.

Owner to children: My shop’s first birthday.
Owner to children: I especially bought lots of great tricks.
Owner to children: Made them all half-price.
Owner to children: Sent out the invitations.
Owner to children: My first VIP Sale!
…
Owner to children: But no one came….

[Leaders amongst children go “Aaaahhhh”]

Owner to children [looking determined]: Right, that’s it! If the special guests I invited won’t come then I’ll go and get other people!

[Owner runs amongst children and leaders and gets some to come into the shop]

Owner: Come into my shop! It’s a special day. My birthday! See my great tricks! All half-price, just for you!

[People mill around shop]

Owner to children: See, if the people I invited don’t come then I’ll get other people to celebrate with me. Its their loss!! [Folded arms] Humph!

[Close to theme music]

Context:
The Parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10 30 – 37)

Cast:
Shop Owner
Down and out dad

Props:
Scraggly clothes for Down and Out Dad
“Free” trick

Script:

[Opening to theme music]

[Owner is pottering around the Trick Shop. Down and out dad walks in]

Owner: Good Morning!
Dad: Morning…
Owner: Is there anything I can help you with?
Dad: No thanks – I’m just browsing.
Owner: Ok. [Returns to pottering about]

[Dad has a look at the various tricks, now and then expressing admiration for tricks]

Owner: Are you sure I can’t help you with anything?
Dad: Er…well … I love your tricks … but …
Owner: But?
Dad: I don’t have much money and they are all too expensive.
Owner: I see.
Dad: Its my daughter’s birthday party tomorrow and I wanted to get her something, and she loves tricks, but your tricks are too expensive for me.
Owner: I’m sorry.
Dad: Its not your fault, they are very good tricks.
Owner: Thank you – I only stock my favourite tricks!

[Awkward silence]

Dad: Anyway, good-bye.

[Dad turns to go. Owner looks thoughtful and scratches his head, then talks to children]

Owner: Isn’t that sad? [Children respond] I want to help but what can I do? [Children respond] Do you think I could just give him a trick for free? [Children respond] He might not like that… Hmmm…. [Owner suddenly gets a bright idea and runs after Dad]

Owner: Wait!
Dad: [Dad turns] What?
Owner: How much money have you got?
Dad: £5
Owner: As it happens I have a very good trick on sale – the Fire Sword trick.
Dad: Sounds expensive.
Owner: Well it is normally, but its on sale today and is only £5.
Dad: Are you sure its on sale – I don’t see any signs.
Owner: Its just gone on sale this minute [Winks at children]
Dad: Hmmm….
Owner: What?
Dad: It’s a brilliant trick, but I’ve seen it on TV, its too difficult for us.
Owner: Too difficult?
Dad: Afraid so. And its very dangerous!
Owner: That’s a shame…. [Scratches his head] … [Then gets a bright idea] There’s another special offer on at the moment.
Dad: There is?
Owner: Yes, buy one trick and get a free demonstration.
Dad: Free demonstration?
Owner: Yes, I’ll show you how to do it. In fact I’ll come to your party and show the kids too! How does that sound?
Dad: Wow. My daughter will be soooo happy – she loves your shop.
Owner: Ok, that’s settled then.
Dad: Hmmm….
Owner: what?
Dad: The trick isn’t really on sale is it?
Owner: Er … [Looks embarassed] … No
Dad: And there isn’t really a special offer?
Owner: Er .. [Looks even more embarassed] … No
Dad: You’re very kind to help us like this.
Owner: I don’t like it when people are sad, so I’m glad to help. I’m sure you’d do the same for me.
Dad: Thank you very much. [They shake hands to closing theme music]