Mulled Vine

This has to be one of the toughest commands in the Bible and is part of the “turn the other cheek” and “suffer as Christ suffered for you” side of Christianity that we like to ignore here in the prosperous, now-centred West.

I have just left a company where I had the boss from hell. He had no redeeming qualities, apart from being elsewhere most of the time. He made my life miserable and I suppose I allowed him to get under my skin, but I couldn’t help it.

So love this guy?? I think not.

I would rather heap burning coals on his head.

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:20)

Oh dear, failed miserably again.

Have you ever wondered what people are really like, what they think, what they do when no one is looking? I did, that fateful morning, and it was my undoing.

It was an ordinary Sunday, much like any other. Spring was in the air and I could sense a corporate reluctance from my flock. I had prepared a fairly decent sermon on Grace, intended to instruct and to encourage, but not many were paying attention. Even the normally attentive Harold Withington had dozed off in his usual seat, much to his wife Arma’s annoyance – she was very concerned about appearances. So I was glad to reach the end and announce the closing hymn.

The congregation rose with a collective sigh, and as it was preparing itself during the organ prelude it struck me: they were all fakes!

Mrs Andrews in the front pew, singing with arrogant shrills above the rest, excessively proud of having studied music at London Royal College of Music. Her husband James, whom I knew was having a torrid affair with young Maisie two rows back (obviously not during the sermon). Why even Harold, old saint that he was, had a gambling problem that I’d had to rescue him from repeatedly.

Yet despite this, they paraded like perfect little Christians, with impeccable, fine smiles, secretly looking down on each other, forgetting deliberately the great heights from which we all have fallen, and the immense price paid to get them back there.

So after the hymn I announced that no one was to leave their seats. It was time for detention Bible style. They sat stunned, looking at their old pastor, not quite sure what to expect.

I then started to pray, oh how I started to pray! I prayed that the Lord would deliver my flock from their sins, that they would mend their wicked ways, that they would learn to love each other, that they would care for the poor and so on. I sensed the congregation getting restless, but nobody moved because we were in the presence of the Almighty.

Then I stopped and we waited. We waited for the Spirit of God to move among us. Nobody moved. Nobody talked. At least until suddenly Harold started from his slumber and leapt up shouting, “Don’t Panic Mr Mainwaring, don’t panic!”

The congregation collapsed with laughter at the old Dad’s Army quote, and that was it, the moment had passed: God had spoken, or perhaps not. Who knew?

I hung up my collar and frock in disgust and walked out never to return.

They were All fakes.

Is it just me or is this a bit twisted?

Today I am happy to call myself a conservative Christian…

I just received an email from an agency advertising a Technical Architect job for a leading Christian charity here in London.

The pay is probably rubbish, and these emails are very often long shots, but it sounds like something I’d REALLY like to do.

I took a day off work today to go with my wife to see a specialist doctor – my wife has not been well. We began the day by arguing. Not surprising really – its been brewing for a while. So much hardship, unspoken hurt and unfulfilled longing on either side. Life can really suck big time.

We sulked like children for a while.

Then we talked and shouted some more. Then, strangely, we stopped shouting and we listened, and we listened some more, and at last we began to understand.

After the specialist visit we had a nice bit of lunch together and laughed as we haven’t laughed in months, and I looked at this beautiful woman I married, and realised (not for the first time) what an idiot I’ve been.

Marriage can be hard work at the best of times, and even more so at the worst of times, and I know this is not a picture of perfect Christianity I paint. But today, there was forgiveness and the hope of new beginnings, so perhaps I’m wrong; perhaps it is a picture of Christianity after all.

Ever heard those words before? I have, a good few times, and I’m not sure whether to be glad or sad.

I’m glad if the person speaking the words means that I’m nothing like the awful stereotype that they have built up in their head, that its because I’m showing the true light of Christ.

However I’m sad if its because I’m nothing at all like Jesus, or because I hide my light so well it may as well be extinguished.

Being a peace keeper means that you get very good at blending in, seeing everyone’s point of view, but sometimes this means you forget where your lines should be drawn.

Is peace worth it at this cost?

I have been asked to write a post on why Christianity is important to me.

My first reaction is trepidation, since I’m aware that this is a very public forum, and some of my readers will leap on the slightest inconsistency in my thinking, but as she asked so nicely…

The question “Why is Christianity important to you” differs from “Why is Christianity important or right or true etc” because the answer will be subjective. Of course it would be good if it withstood objective, evidential scrutiny, but in the realms of the spiritual and personal that is sometimes not possible.

I first read a Bible at the age of 20, having had very little exposure to any religion before that, apart from dabbling in Taoism (if reading “The Tao Of Pooh” can be called dabbling). I was a confused, lonely youngster, full of questions, hurt and a fair amount of guilt for not being as I knew I should be.

So try to imagine the impact that these words had on me:

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men.” (John 1)

I held in my hand this strange, wonderful Book, with words that spoke to me, that seemed to be alive, that seemed to answer to so many of my questions. How am I here? Why am I here? Why do I feel such emptiness? What’s wrong with me?

What were these words that called so to my Soul? What or who was this Word of which it spoke, who did the impossible, and said such wonderful things like “your sins are forgiven”. Could he do that for me?

With the Bible there also came the friendship of a group of Christians that welcomed me as into a family. Such love from strangers I had never experienced before and I was overwhelmed.

I made a decision on 20 July 1986 follow my Master, Jesus, Christ, Son of God, Man, Saviour.

Since then I have had to work through many, many rational objections, particularly in recent years when my wife was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and we went through hell. I have wrestled with the big questions: Can the Bible be reconciled with Science? Is the Bible not completely contradictory? Can God be Good if Evil and Suffering exist? Why does God appear to choose some and not others? Is Hell fair?Why are so many Christians complete fruitcakes?

Some of these questions I have a better handle on, others will have to wait until the other side of death, but when I’m tempted to give up, to walk away from it all, then I’m reminded of these words:

“You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve. Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.” (John 6:67-68)

I have of late met a number of new bloggers through my Diary of an Old Fart blog, some really whacky, apparently non-Christian folk. And you know what? Its been like a breath of fresh air. We Believers get so entrenched in our pious, but oh so very encouraging talk of God and life and suffering and why it all totally makes sense, that we forget to lighten up and live a little.

Jesus was someone that people liked to be with, not some stuffy, self-righteous, truth wielding fake. Jesus was/is fully human, through and through.