Mulled Vine

The mist hung low over the field. It was dawn and today was the day of the Challenge. Man and God, side by side, ready. The crowds watched expectantly. It was a bold challenge, initiated by Man, to create life. Man had through years of scientific endeavour perfected the means and was now ready to take on God.

The Challenge commenced. All was quiet. Eager crowds leaned forward.

God stooped down and gathered up some dust in his hand, breathed into it, and a man was created.

The crowds cheered.

Man smiled smugly and knelt down to do the same, but God interrupted: “No, no. You get your own dust.”

Context:
The Parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10 30 – 37)

Cast:
Shop Owner
Down and out dad

Props:
Scraggly clothes for Down and Out Dad
“Free” trick

Script:

[Opening to theme music]

[Owner is pottering around the Trick Shop. Down and out dad walks in]

Owner: Good Morning!
Dad: Morning…
Owner: Is there anything I can help you with?
Dad: No thanks – I’m just browsing.
Owner: Ok. [Returns to pottering about]

[Dad has a look at the various tricks, now and then expressing admiration for tricks]

Owner: Are you sure I can’t help you with anything?
Dad: Er…well … I love your tricks … but …
Owner: But?
Dad: I don’t have much money and they are all too expensive.
Owner: I see.
Dad: Its my daughter’s birthday party tomorrow and I wanted to get her something, and she loves tricks, but your tricks are too expensive for me.
Owner: I’m sorry.
Dad: Its not your fault, they are very good tricks.
Owner: Thank you – I only stock my favourite tricks!

[Awkward silence]

Dad: Anyway, good-bye.

[Dad turns to go. Owner looks thoughtful and scratches his head, then talks to children]

Owner: Isn’t that sad? [Children respond] I want to help but what can I do? [Children respond] Do you think I could just give him a trick for free? [Children respond] He might not like that… Hmmm…. [Owner suddenly gets a bright idea and runs after Dad]

Owner: Wait!
Dad: [Dad turns] What?
Owner: How much money have you got?
Dad: £5
Owner: As it happens I have a very good trick on sale – the Fire Sword trick.
Dad: Sounds expensive.
Owner: Well it is normally, but its on sale today and is only £5.
Dad: Are you sure its on sale – I don’t see any signs.
Owner: Its just gone on sale this minute [Winks at children]
Dad: Hmmm….
Owner: What?
Dad: It’s a brilliant trick, but I’ve seen it on TV, its too difficult for us.
Owner: Too difficult?
Dad: Afraid so. And its very dangerous!
Owner: That’s a shame…. [Scratches his head] … [Then gets a bright idea] There’s another special offer on at the moment.
Dad: There is?
Owner: Yes, buy one trick and get a free demonstration.
Dad: Free demonstration?
Owner: Yes, I’ll show you how to do it. In fact I’ll come to your party and show the kids too! How does that sound?
Dad: Wow. My daughter will be soooo happy – she loves your shop.
Owner: Ok, that’s settled then.
Dad: Hmmm….
Owner: what?
Dad: The trick isn’t really on sale is it?
Owner: Er … [Looks embarassed] … No
Dad: And there isn’t really a special offer?
Owner: Er .. [Looks even more embarassed] … No
Dad: You’re very kind to help us like this.
Owner: I don’t like it when people are sad, so I’m glad to help. I’m sure you’d do the same for me.
Dad: Thank you very much. [They shake hands to closing theme music]

Context:

Weekly drama presented to our church children as part of Club Sunday. This week’s theme: Luke 18:1-8 (The Parable of the Persistent Widow)

Cast:
Shop Owner
Corrupt Inspector

Props:

Inspector’s coat, shades and clipboard
“I got the power” sound clip
Free gift

Script:

[Opening – to theme tune]

[Owner pottering about getting things ready, singing to himself in a very silly manner]
Owner: Oh, what a beautiful morning!!!! Oh, what a beautiful daaaaaaayyyyy! I have that wonderful feeeeeellliiinngg! Everything’s going my waaaaay!

[Inspector walks in and starts to look around]
Inspector: Hmmm…
Owner: Good morning! May I help you?
Inspector: Hmmm…
Owner aside to children: I wonder who he is? He looks awfully serious. Do you know who he is? [Children’s suggestions]
Owner: I say, good morning!!!
Inspector: Er, yes, hello… this just won’t do.
Owner: What won’t do?
Inspector: The shop.
Owner: What about the shop?
Inspector: Is this a magic shop?
Owner with children: No, it’s a TRICK SHOP
Inspector: Not a magic shop?
Owner: Nope!
Inspector: This just won’t do.
Owner: WHAT won’t do??
Inspector [in very officious voice]: Because Bylaw 88.231 states unequivocally that every purveyor of goods of the trickery nature must also offer goods of the magical nature.
Owner: Wha’?
Inspector [in a Cockney accent]: Coz, Guv, the ol’ law says ya gotta sell magic if this is a trick shop! Awight?
Owner: I’ve never seen that law.
Inspector: That’s because it’s a subclause
Owner: Subclause? What’s he got to do with this?
Inspector: Not Santa Clause, SUB-Clause! It means I can add bits to the law if I want to. I’ve got the power! [with appropriate sound clip] I’m an INSPECTOR!
Owner: But I don’t want to sell magic tricks. This is not a magic shop its [with kids] a TRICK SHOP!
Inspector: Not any more it isn’t. Subclause 1b states…
Owner: You told me. I simply can’t sell magic tricks.
Inspector: Then you’ll have to be closed right away.
Owner: Closed?
Inspector: Closed! Right away.
Owner: Please, don’t close my shop.
Inspector: It’s the law.
Owner: But its your made up law!
Inspector: My law is THE LAW [big scary voice]
Owner [falls to ground and grabs legs of Inspector]: PUUULEEEASSSEEE DOOONNNTTT CLOOOOSE MYYY SHOP. WAAAAAAHHHHHH!
Inspector [looking slightly uncomfortable]: The law is the law.
Owner: PUUUUULEEEEASSSEEEEEEE! WAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Inspector [now looking very uncomfortable]: Must you do that?
Owner: PUUUUULEEEEASSSEEEEEEE! WAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Inspector: Please stop that.
Owner: PUUUUULEEEEASSSEEEEEEE! WAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Inspector: Well. I suppose I …
Owner [stands up and wipes his nose]: Sniff…. Yes?
Inspector: It might be ok to make a special exception just in this case, seeing as you feel so strongly about it.
Owner [falls to ground and kisses feet of Inspector]: THAANK YOOOUUU, THAANK YOOOUUU!
Inspector: Please stop that.
Owner [stands up and wipes his nose]: Sniff. Thank you.
Inspector: Its ok, it’s a silly law anyway.
Owner: Would you like a trick?
Inspector: A trick?
Owner: Yes a free trick.
Inspector: Ooohhh, that sounds nice.
Owner: [Gets trick and gives it to the inspector] Here you are…
Inspector: Thank you. I love tricks!
Owner: No problem.
Inspector: Good-bye
Owner: Have a nice day!

[Inspector clutches his gift with glee and leaves to sound of theme music]

Context:
Weekly drama presented to our church children as part of Club Sunday. This week’s theme: The Friend at Midnight (Luke 11:5-10)

Cast:
Shop Owner
Desperate Dad

Props:
Doorway
Lots of boxes of tricks
Impossible puzzle trick

Script:

[Opening – Closing time at the trick shop. Owner potters about, tidying up, locks door etc]

Owner:

Phew!
[Tidies some more]
Phew!
[Talks to kids]
What a day its been.
Phew!
Its been soooo busy.
I’ve sold soooo many tricks! Even the little puzzles that no one can do. Do you know that ones I mean? [Nooooo] Wait, I’ll show you. [Gets impossible puzzle] See, here it is. What you do is… [Tries to do puzzle] Hang on… its like this [Carries on trying] … um …. [carries on trying but eventually puts it away in disgust] .. I can’t do it either … its impossible.
Anyway, enough tidying up – time to lock up.
[Locks the door]

[Suddenly Desperate Dad runs up and bangs on the door]

Owner: I’m closed!

[More knocking]

Owner: I said I’m closed!!!!

[Even louder knocking]

Owner to children: I’m going to ignore the noise [Stands with folded arms and whistles to himself]

[Loudest and most persistent knocking. Owner relents and opens door.]

Owner: Sorry, I’m closed. Please don’t break my door down.
Dad: I’m desperate!
Owner: Sorry, I AM CLOSED.
Dad: You’ve got to help me.
Owner: No
Dad: Its my daughter
Owner: No
Dad: Its her birthday party
Owner: So?
Dad: I urgently need a present for her.
Owner: Too late.
Dad: Its one of your tricks – she desperately wants it!
Owner: Sorry, everything is packed away – see… [Points to boxes]
Dad: I bought her one last week but I’ve lost it. Please you have got to help me.
Owner: Closed. [Folded arms] I’m going home now. Good-bye. [Closes door]

[Furious knocking on the door]

Owner to children: I’m going to ignore that.

[More knocking. Owner stands with folded arms and whistles. Knocking continues until eventually owner gives up.]

Owner to children: Aaaaargh!!! This is sooo annoying. I want to go home! I’m tired and hungry. What should I do [Children answer] What? [More answers] Let him in? [YES!!!] Ok, ok.

[Owner opens the door. Dad is on his knees.]

Dad: Please.
Owner: Look I really am closed.
Dad: Pretty please.
Owner: No
Dad: Pretty please with a cherry on top
Owner: No
Dad [heart-wrenching cry] PUHLEEEEAAASSSEEEE!!
Owner: Sorry, but no
Dad [lying down, arms wrapped around owner] PUHLEEEEAAASSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Owner: Ok, ok, ok, please let go of my feet …… LET GO OF MY FEET
Dad: Sniff

[Owner rummages through boxes and finds the trick and gives it to Dad]
Owner: Here you go.
Dad: Thank you so much! [Falls to ground and starts kissing owners feet]
Owner: GERRROFFFFF!
Dad [standing up]: How much do I owe you?
Owner: Please, just take your trick and go!
[Dad leaves to closing music]

I’ve just noticed that my blog hit counter has exceeded 5000!

Wow! Thanks guys and gals for honouring me with your time and comments.

Who would have thought?

We’ve just watched the movie Bruce Almighty. Jim Carrey is not my favourite actor – he’s too wacky for my taste – but the movie surprised me with some of its hidden depth.

If you haven’t seen it, its about a guy called Bruce who rages against God for all that goes wrong in his life. God then steps in and says: “Have my powers for a while, but you can’t mess with free will.” Bruce is fundamentally selfish and uses his power for all sorts of inappropriate things and sees the consequences of his foolish acts of power. For example, his little party trick to impress his girlfriend by drawing the moon nearer causes a tsunami in the far east.

One of his responsibilities is to answer all the prayers in his town. He is overwhelmed by the numbers of requests so decides to just grant them all, with dire consequences. For example, 400000 people win the same lottery and riots ensue when they each only get $17.

His girlfriend eventually leaves him and he asks God: “How can I make her love me and not affect free will?” God answers dryly: “Welcome to my world!”

Other lines include: “that’s not a miracle, that’s magic” and “they don’t know what they want.”

God has bound his hands in order to allow us the glorious gift of freewill and this, along with the delicate balance of the universe, will affect how He answers our prayers.

Valley Of The Shadows

In the valley of the shadows,
pain and darkness all around.

Where are you?

In your path I’m called to follow,
But I stumble to the ground.

Where are you?

But when I look toward the cross.
see you hanging at my side.
Innocent Lamb of God,
sharing in my suffering.

You are there!

So I gladly bear my cross,
knowing that you have a plan,
in the valley of the shadows,
to refine this soul of mine.

Refining, refining, this soul of mine!
Refining, refining, this soul of mine!

(Words of a simple song I wrote)

There was a man called Peter
who had a dislike for rhyme
which was only surpassed
by an even greater dislike for anything remotely resembling meter.

There was a young girl from Barcelona
who wanted to be a blood donor,
but when she expressed her desire
to her dad the vampire,
alas he promptly disowned her.

Context:

Weekly drama presented to our church children as part of Club Sunday.

Cast:

Shop Owner
Leaders 1,2,3 sleeping outside entrance of trick shop
Leader 4 to arrive later on

Props:

4 equal sized trick boxes
Doorway

Script:

[Opening – 3 leaders sleeping outside entrance. Leader2 without any shoes or socks on. Owner pottering about getting things ready]

Owner to children: I’m so excited! Soo, soooo excited! Its going to be a great day. Do you want to know why? [Yeeeesss] What? [YEEEEESSSSS] Ok, its because today I’m going to give some tricks away for free. That way lots of people will come to the shop and see all my cool tricks. [Holds up sign saying “FREE TRICKS”] Do you like my sign? [Yeeeesss] What? [YEEEEESSSSS] I’ll put it up here.

[Outside]
Leader1: I’ve slept here the whole night. Its been sooo cold. I’m soooo hungry. I can’t wait to get my free trick. It had better be good!

Leader2: Me too. The whooooole night. And it rained. Plus somebody stole my shoes while I was sleeping. They even took my socks! Look! [Points to bare feet] [Speaks to children] Look! [Shows feet to lots of children] But it’ll be worth it. A free trick!! I can’t wait!!

Leader3: I heard the tricks were really cool, so I came extra early, but I arrived later than you two. I suppose you’ll get the best tricks.

Leader1and2 together: Yes, its not fair if you get the same trick as us. We’ve been waiting muuuuch longer

[Owner opens the door]

Owner to leaders: Good morning!

Leaders123: Morning!!

Owner: How can I help you.

Leader1: We’re here for our free tricks

Owner: I see. Well you’ve come to the right place. This is a… [with children] TRICK SHOP

Leader1: He/she [pointing to Leader2] and I have been here all night. It was cold and wet…

Leader2: And someone stole my socks and shoes. Look! [Points to bare feet and shows children again]

Leader3: I came a bit later. I hope I get a free gift, but I don’t expect it’ll be as nice as the ones they [points to Leaders1 and 2] will get.

[Leader4 enters the shop]

Leader4: Morning!

Owner: Morning!

Leader4: Sure is busy here today. What’s going on?

Owner: I’m giving away free tricks.

Leader4: Why?

Owner: To show people how wonderful my shop is!

Leader4: Free trick? Sounds good to me. I’ll have one.

[Leaders123 barge in]

Leaders123: We were first! Get out the way!

Leader4: Stop pushing!

[Minor struggle ensues. Owner breaks it up]

Owner: Stop it! Stop it! There are enough gifts to go around. Please get into an orderly line.

[Leaders queue, but still with a bit of shoving]

[Owner gives gifts to Leaders, one at a time]

[Leader1 looks at the other gifts]

Leader1: But…. But….

Owner: What?

Leader1: They’re all the same!

Owner: Yes they are. Its my latest and coolest trick – the card discombobulator. What you do is…

Leader1: But I waited ALL night long!

Leader2: And it was cold and wet, and I had my socks and shoes stolen! Look! [Points to bare feet]

Leader3: I waited longer than him/her [Points disdainfully at Leader 4]

[Leader 4 looks very grateful and hugs gift]

Owner: Did you pay for the gifts?

Leaders: No

Owner: So you have no right to complain. They are my tricks and if I want to give them to anyone for free its got nothing to do with you.

[Leaders1,2,3 walk off in a huff]

Leader4: Thanks for the trick. Are you sure I can have it? Its very nice.

Owner: Its free. Enjoy!

[Music]