Mulled Vine

Anger is such a tame word to describe a state of being that really needs a powerful word to evoke images of toxic fuming, thunderous choleric rantings, dog kickings, effusive profanity and a whole lot of snarling.

To all my American (and Canadian) friends, some of whom have no idea that Thanksgiving is not widely celebrated outside these countries: Happy Thanksgiving!

Coincidentally I am reading (wading through) Philip Roth’s “American Pastoral” and just yesterday read this superb little passage:

“And it was never but once a year that they were brought together anyway, that was on the neutral, de-religionized ground of Thanksgiving, when everybody gets to eat the same thing, nobody sneaking off to eat funny stuff – no kugel, no gefilte fish, no bitter herbs, just one colossal turkey feeds all. A moratorium on funny foods and funny ways and religious exclusivity, a moratorium on the three-thousand year old nostalgia of the Jews, a moratorium on Christ and the cross and the crucifixion for Christians, when everyone in New Jersey and elsewhere can be more passive about their irrationalities than they are the rest of the year. A moratorium on all the grievances and resentments, and not only for the Dwyers and the Levovs but for everyone in America who is suspicious of everyone else. It is the American pastoral par excellence and it lasts twenty-four hours.”

I have been quite ill of late and was greatly encouraged last night by the prayers of a good friend. He also told me to look up this:

I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.

He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.

Blessed is the man
who makes the LORD his trust,
who does not look to the proud,
to those who turn aside to false gods.

Many, O LORD my God,
are the wonders you have done.
The things you planned for us
no one can recount to you;
were I to speak and tell of them,
they would be too many to declare.

Sacrifice and offering you did not desire,
but my ears you have pierced;
burnt offerings and sin offerings
you did not require.

Then I said, “Here I am, I have come—
it is written about me in the scroll.

I desire to do your will, O my God;
your law is within my heart.”

I proclaim righteousness in the great assembly;
I do not seal my lips,
as you know, O LORD.

I do not hide your righteousness in my heart;
I speak of your faithfulness and salvation.
I do not conceal your love and your truth
from the great assembly.

Do not withhold your mercy from me, O LORD;
may your love and your truth always protect me.

For troubles without number surround me;
my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
They are more than the hairs of my head,
and my heart fails within me.

Be pleased, O LORD, to save me;
O LORD, come quickly to help me.

May all who seek to take my life
be put to shame and confusion;
may all who desire my ruin
be turned back in disgrace.

May those who say to me, “Aha! Aha!”
be appalled at their own shame.

But may all who seek you
rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who love your salvation always say,
“The LORD be exalted!”

Yet I am poor and needy;
may the Lord think of me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
O my God, do not delay.

(Psalm 40)

A bucket list is a list of 10 things you want to do before you die (”kick the bucket”). What is amazing is that I have had to think about this, thus reflecting the total lack of planning in my life to date.

My list in no particular order:

1. Get published, perhaps even enough to make a living from

2. Play bass guitar at a professional gig

3. Retire happily married to my beautiful wife and see my children start their own lives

4. Go on a sailing cruise

5. Tour the United States

6. Go on a cycling/barge holiday in Europe

7. Start a business with Wendy and give up writing software

8. Sort out the God issue in my life for once and for all

9. Learn to ride a motorbike

10. Love more.

Feel free to create your own bucket list and add a comment linking to it below. Linking back to my blog is optional but you might kick the bucket sooner if you don’t.

“It just happened!” I cried, tears of frustration welling up inside me.
She looked at me with longsuffering bemusement. “You mean to say that heap of dirty clothing at the bottom of your cupboard just appeared, from nowhere?”
I nodded vigorously.
“Nothing to do with you?” she continued, peering intently into my eyes.
I met her gaze unflinchingly. “Nope.”
“Are you sure you are telling me the truth, Robbie?” I could hear the growing sternness in her voice but nodded again.
She sighed and took my hand gently, leading me to the window from which could see across the valley to the blue mountains shimmering in the distance.
“Those mountains,” she said, pointing. “How do you think they came about?”
I looked at her earnestly, years of Sunday School training clamouring for attention, and replied, “By accident.”
She looked at me aghast, but then regained her composure. “That’s just silly and you know it. Now tidy up those clothes and stop talking nonsense! I’ll wash your mouth out with soap if you lie to me again.”
“But, Mum!” I protested.
“Now!”

Check out my story ‘Lunar Landing’ published at Gloom Cupboard.

After much pondering about my “completed” book Last Days, and wondering how I make it longer without affecting it too much, I have decided to add some Prologues, starting here.

Just like with Day 1, I don’t really have an idea where this is going, but that is part of the fun of writing a fictional blog: it, like life, is unpredictable.

For my little tale: “Farm”.

Some things I learned this week:

1. Literary agents (good ones) are very busy people with high entry standards
2. Lots of people are writing books
3. Getting published is the exception not the norm
4. 35000 words is still much too short for a mainstream novel
5. The internet has too much inconsistent advice
6. I am very impatient where my dreams are concerned
7. Sustaining self belief is tough
8. Edith Wharton is a fabulous author

So despite initial enthusiasm and confidence, I’m bracing myself for 3 imminent rejections (assuming I even get a response) and wondering whether Last Days needs a rethink or perhaps something else.