Mulled Vine

On my way to the station this morning I saw a young lad selling newspapers. I went to buy one and saw that he was huddling against the cold. I smiled and said to him, “Cold isn’t it?” “It was until you walked by,” said he. I reflected on my simple act of kindness, that cost so little to me and meant so much to another, and how that kindness touched my own heart to the core. I thought about all that I owned, all that I had worked so hard to acquire, all that I had invested, and it dawned on me: kindness yields a better Return On Investment.

You may have noticed that my writings are quirky.
Its not that I’m mad.
Or that I don’t try.
Or have nothing better to write.
Its very simple really.
My keyboard is QUIRKY when it should be QWERTY.

“I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!”

“What do you hate?”

“The way everything just is, the nature of being.”

“I don’t understand – what exactly do you hate about being?”

“Don’t you see, with everything being, then there are no surprises, like you get when there is nothing and some thing pops out of nothing and says ‘Boo!’”

“You were around when there was nothing??”

I have a dog called Serendipity. I found her one day when I was looking for my watch. It was all a bit strange but I got used to it. Now she pops up all the time when I look for things, but she doesn’t stay when I call. That’s Serendipity for you. Now where did I put that darn watch?

A dog walked into a telegraph office and said, “Woof, woof… woof, woof, woof … woof, woof, woof, woof!”

The telegraph operator looked at the dog. “Do you know”, said he, “If you add another ‘woof’” then the cost of the telegram will be cheaper.

The dog looked at the telegraph operator and answered, “But that wouldn’t make sense now, would it?”

It was a glorious day, the sun was shining and life was good. Harry called over to his pet millipede, “Joe, fancy a walk?” There was no answer, so he went over to the shoebox where Joe lived. “Joe? Come on mate, its stunning out there, and you need the exercise” Still no answer, so Harry, irritation rising in his voice, shouted: “Joe!!!!”

A little voice responded from the shoebox: “Hold your horses! I’m putting my shoes on!”

On the crowded train to Nowhere there is a stop, a funny little station, old and tiny with ornate gables and pretty flowers. I can’t quite make out the name on the sign board but it looks wonderful: little groups of people sitting over coffee, children laughing in a nearby playground, an old couple sitting together on a bench, chatting and enjoying the warm sunshine. Should I get off, just for a little while? I would, but I’m so busy pursuing life and buying happiness. Yet the station beckons with quiet allure, and it would just be for a little while – the trains to Nowhere are quite frequent you know. So I get off and breathe in the Spring air, fragrant with life and beauty. The train to Nowhere pulls away, jammed full of purposeful people, and at last I can make out the writing on the board: Now.

Deep in my spirit there is a yearning, a longing deep and persistent. It started earlier today as I pondered life’s great mysteries and sought a greater meaning to it all. My thoughts drew to a close and having answered these mighty questions, my thoughts turned to my emptiness. Why did I feel thus? Was it not enough that now at last I understood the meaning of life? Well, no, because my yearning has nothing to do with all of that – it has to do with Chili Dogs and Beer.

Today I will be mostly silly.

I do not know how I know this

or why it should be

but that’s the way

it is

when you are mostly silly.

Scone!

Yes, I know – terrible.

But you know what?

Its fabulous too.

I love jokes, silly and grand.

And that’s six sentences I think.

(Sigh)

Editor : the last “sigh” is a meta sentence, so doesn’t count in the tally of six, neither does this one.